To my wife...

I want you to always remember while work takes me away from you, you must know that my favorite part of the day is the hour I get to spend with you at the end.

Remember that I am out fighting for us.

Remember that this is not forever.

And most of all, remember who I sleep next to at the end of the night.

Remember that you are my best friend.

Remember that you are the best mom on the planet to our three year old.

And remember that these last six months will be forgotten in another year.

Pretty soon you will have a beautiful baby girl staring up at you in awe, and relying on you to care for her. I want her to see how happy her mom is, because surely this is going to leave a mark on us for the rest of our lives.

Remember to infinity and beyond, because our vows carry us into the next life and ripple out through eternity.

Remember that I will protect and uphold them, because there is no greater code of honor than "I do". Remember that my body is my sword, and it must stay sharp in order to defend its family.

Before you remember any of this, know that I love you very much, those three words carry so much meaning in them, and I do not want you to ever get tired of hearing them.

Fight Night 1

Fight Night 1: I got my ass kicked.

Yesterday was the first night I got to participate in Thursday Night Fight night. Of course the owner of my school, who visits me frequently at Outback, told me the first night I was going to fight him. He is the school's best fighter (hands down). He is a sixteen year old second degree black belt who is very mature for his age and teaches the advanced class (which has upwards of 30 students)

Don't you know I was the first fight to happen last night. He started out taking it easy on me, but when I caught him flinching and punched him in the face he unleashed what I thought was an eight move combo on me. As soon as I blocked a kick, there were three behind it, followed by quite a few punches. I managed to block most of it but did get stuck in the face a few times. I was ducking under kicks aiming for my head and dodging punches by swinging my head backwards.

I was told not to duck and not to dodge, but to get in and hide behind my hands. Lets face it, I was fighting sloppy. The rest of the fight I spent dodging flurries of moves and occasionally landing a punch, but never landing a kick.

I have never sweat so much in my life. And I was physically wasted half way through the fight to the point where I could barely hold my breath and keep moving.

I will need to start running and get my endurance back up. I'll also have to erase old fighting habits of dodging and ducking and learn to either get out of the way or block and counter.

After the fight we touched gloves and he (Kieth) told me I fought good. After class we talked again and I told him I have a lot to learn, and he said don't worry about it, you should have seen me when I first fought.

After that fight I fought a green belt (one belt higher than me). She must have been 14 or 15 years old, almost as tall as me. I really took it easy because there were parents watching, and toned down my speed and power. The owner of the school was barking at me to really unleash on her, and I wasn't about to do that for two reasons, she was much younger than me, and her mom is probably watching.

I ended up fighting her a second time and took the same approach.

Then I fought a blue belt (two belts ahead of me) who is a good fighter, but from watching him for weeks I knew he likes to throw kicks three or four at a time. I kept circling around him and kept the offense going so he couldn't. He was backing up (which is bad, you want to circle around your opponent, not give ground) so I started lightening up. He did throw a few kick combos and managed to land a few unblocked.

All in all it was a blast! I can't wait to do it again next week!

Panic Switch by Silversun Pickups

Time
It's never worth my time
Blue shine
Bleeds into my eyes

I still
Sleep on the right side
Of the white noise
Can't leave the scene behind

Could I be anything you want me to be
It's always meant to be seen

[Chorus]
When you see yourself in a crowded room
Do your fingers itch, are you pistol-whipped?
And will you step in line or release the glitch?
And can you fall asleep with a panic switch?

And when you see yourself in a crowded room
Do your fingers itch, are you pistol-whipped?
Will you step in line or release the glitch?
Do you think she'll sleep with the panic...

Mm, I'll try
To hold on tight tonight
Pink slip
Inviting me inside
Wanna burn skin
And brand what once was mine
But the red views
Keep ripping the divide

If I go everywhere you want me to go
How will I know you'll still follow?

[Chorus]

I'm waiting and fading and floating away
I'm waiting and fading and floating away
I'm waiting and fading and floating away
Waiting and fading and floating

I'm waiting and fading and floating away
Waiting and fading and floating away
Waiting and fading and floating away
Waiting and fading, waiting and fading

Moving on Up!

So this weekend went off without a hitch... well with one hitch.... We had very good support from our whole family which was nice. We were able to knock out the entire apartment in two trips. The second trip consisted of five trucks, my buddy Jay's two trucks, my mother-in-law's truck, my grandfather's truck and my uncles truck. We took the slow route down Newport ave. During which Jay sent me a text message saying "I feel like we're in that tornado movie looking for tornadoes", rightfully so, because it was like a five truck convoy which was neat.

Sunday night Jay and I went back to the apartment and broke down two desks, two shelves and an entertainment center all made out of particle board. The fat bastard downstairs called the cops on us. We left after we loaded up and headed to my Grandfather's house and unloaded the wood into the burning tank.

Sadly yesterday I got a call from my grandfather saying he could not burn that wood because of the plastic wood grain pattern coating on it.

I spent half of Monday with him cutting all that wood up into 15"x4" boards and stuffing them into vinyl bags. All of which are sitting in front of my new place today.

This morning was wonderful, it was very sunny out when I woke up and it was a beautiful sight when I went downstairs to see how bright the inside of the new place was. The sunlight hits the trees around our second floor almost dead on filling the inside with a very peaceful green light. It was very calming and tranquil to me. There are actually birds chirping outside as opposed to trucks whipping by. This is what a home should feel like when you are there. My wife did a fantastic job finding this place for us. I really think she will be happy here above all.

I was even more pleased with this move when it took me ten minutes from when I got on the highway to the door at my day job. No more 40 minute to 1 hour commutes in traffic.

So a couple more weeks of settling in and finding a morning routine and we'll be back on track.

Finally we're moving on up in life, and really truly starting fresh down the road a family should be heading down.

Wednesday catch up

Saturday I drove Sara to the hospital because she was getting out of breath just standing there. After a grueling couple of hours of work I left early to meet her at Rhode Island Hospital because she told me they were admitting her. It all ended fine when all of the tests they took came back normal. My mom took Aidan on his first over night

Sunday was Mother's day and I picked Aidan up in the morning and brought him home. When we got there he woke Mommy up with a "good morning mommy, happy mother's day" and handed her flowers. He was so excited. I told him that sometimes girls cry when they get flowers cause they are happy. He asked Sara if she was going to cry. "Are you going to cry mommy?" Of course she didn't but it was cute. I spent the rest of the day at work.

Monday I took Aidan shopping with me for new work shirts, and played baseball with him at my Mom's house. I practiced in the afternoon, and headed down to the Do Jang early to prepare for my belt test. I took the belt test and passed. Monday night I went with Mom2 to the new place to unload the first run of boxes. Jay met us there to help out. I also picked up keys to our new apartment while my wife was home recovering from her cold.

Tuesday I worked both jobs. The highlight of the day was when my wife called telling me she couldn't breath and was panicing, and I told her to control her breathing and take deep breaths, and to not panic and she was able to over come her shortness of breath almost instantly.

Today I am working both jobs, and practicing.

Perseverance

Confucious said; "one who is impatient in trivial matters can seldom achieve success in matters of great importance."

And through practice of the trivial these last few days, I am noticing an increase in confidence, better technique, better balance, and more respect for each integrate form.

Perseverance is one of Taekwon-do's Tenets, or one of the Aims to Achieve, this is the most practical application of this Tenet. I will remember not to get frustrated doing the trivial as I did a few days ago, instead, know that through practice of the trivial will enable me advance further, both in training, as well as physically and mentally.

Shopping for Savvy

I never thought in my life I would enjoy shopping (or at least choosing for our baby registry) at Babies'R'us. But I do in fact love it. I think it is mostly due to the fact that while I am walking around the store, I am picturing what it is going to be like to have a little baby "in that crib" or "with that bib on" in my head. I imagine what it is going to be like to change her on a changing table or hold her in my arms as I rock her in those sick rocking chairs I like. All the while I am falling in love with the idea of having a daughter.

Every time I imagine it I am even more excited about it than before. I cannot wait until she gets here, and I know deep in my heart she is the reason why I have been pushing myself so hard these last few months.

I want to be prepared for when she gets here, and I want to make sure she has all she needs and my wife has the tools she need to properly care for her.

In a way, this little girl that is on her way, already has me wrapped around her finger, and believe it or not I'm completely fine with it.

Frustrating Class

Today's class was very frustrating to me. Primarily because I am a white belt trying to work to my last stripe before I can test for my yellow belt, I have earned two out of the three so far (One for my Chon-Ji form, and the other for my one step sparring technique). My instructor today had us work on things we have been working on the last few classes and it was frustrating. The younger student in my class who has ranked up almost at the same time I have so far was not focused in class, and about ten minutes of class time was spent reprimanding him for it. While I understand he is young and discipline is a trait that is learned, at the same time this is getting in the way of my forward progression. Perhaps I am a bit too selfish, but it is as Mr. Woodside had put it, "Either you want your yellow belt or you don't, if you don't then take your belt of and leave, and tell your dad you don't want this, if you do then pay attention and listen."

I spent most of my time staring at the wall in front of me while the younger student was getting attention for the same mistakes he has been having trouble with for weeks.

I personally need to work out some sort of practice regiment, every day half an hour at least on the small stuff like stances, and strikes. Also I need to spend 15 minutes each day stretching so I can become more flexable. I did not like being corrected for my comfortable sparring position tonight, nor some of the more trivial blocks. I also need to remember to keep my shoulders in line with my hips, and parallel to the wall I am facing when performing my Chon-Ji form.

I know I am almost there, I can feel it, and each class while changing in the men's room I tell myself "I'm going to earn my black stripe today", and the last few classes I have not. I think I did well controlling my anger in class every time we were stopped for my fellow students antics, as well as when I was critized for small stuff.

I was so frustrated today I came home and practiced for another hour.

Lessons learned today: I need to practice more, and I need to memorize VERBATIM the definition of Chon-Ji, one word wrong or not I need to know it in and out. If I try harder like I always do I can succeed.

Martial Arts, my body, and my goals

Currently I am taking Tae Kwon Do at Semper Fi Tae Kwon Do in Swansea Ma. I met the owner one night at Outback. Him and his wife were there to eat dinner and I noticed the school's logo on his jacket. I had asked him whether or not he was an instructor. He told me that he owns a school in Swansea. For the next two hours him and I talked about his school, something he was clearly passionate about.

I joined that school a month ago today, I have attended nine classes already. Currently I am a white belt with two stripes, and one more stripe away from being able to test for my yellow belt. I missed martial arts thoroughly over the last ten years. I had always said I was going to return and that I had wanted to and meeting Gil Woodside that one night at Outback changed everything for me. Hearing him talk about his school and his students inspired me to join.

Out of 100 white belt students, only 2 receive their black belt. I will be one of those two. When I finally test for my black belt years from now, I can look back on it knowing I made the right decision, and that I have finally earned a life-time achievement I can put next to Husband, Father, and Engineer.

Dr. Woodside is now one of my mentors and I look up to him. He is an x-marine who served two tours, a third degree blackbelt, taught as a history teacher for over 30 years among many other achievements. Yesterday was a great day for me because I had expressed interest in one day instructing at his school, and he informed me that he already had me pegged as a future full-time instructor. Something I would genuinely enjoy, and something my children could benefit from as well. (Aidan anyways)

I have been strength training now for almost three months, and I've reached the point where I need to decide if I want to gain more weight, or start working on my endurance which would entail more reps of lighter weight. I have packed on nearly 25 pounds since I began, made my eating habits much better, and I feel stronger. I'm currently doing the Stronglifts 5x5 program and I love it, every time I work out I have a new challenge as it is 5 sets of 5 reps adding 5 pounds every workout. Currently I am benching 110 pounds, squatting 115 pounds, overhead pressing 75 pounds, which doesn't seem like a lot, but I can do it 25 times in the minimum in one session.


My goal for the next three months is to be able to bench my body weight, squat my body weight, and over head press 100 pounds for the full five sets of five reps. I would also like to stretch for fifteen minutes every morning I wake up so I can make my kicks as high as possible.

I am training now so that someday I can compete in tournaments and fight for my school.

All of this would not have happened if I did not have such a loving and caring wife behind me, coaching me and pushing me to reach my goals.