To my Daughter

My dear sweet Savannah,

The final weeks leading up to your arrival were a difficult time for me as I feel as though I have been struggling to provide for your Mother and your Brother. Although things at this moment could be a lot worse, which is what most people are saying including your Grandmother, I hope to look back at all this with your mother some day and laugh it off.

We both wished for you so long ago. Your mother will tell you someday how she knew the both of us were going to get married before I did. But I will own up to knowing my first born daughter would always come while your mom was convinced you would be a boy. You should have seen how much your mother cried when she found out you were a girl, she was so very happy. Certainly I have waited for you all of my life, as I spent my days growing up wishing to be a father and the best one at that.

Though for the moment I struggle with an internal conflict, as certain things will and have changed with your imminent arrival. But these things I let go of to become a better person. I quit smoking when your mother was about a month pregnant with you. I started taking TaeKwonDo such that I could someday teach it to you and your brother, and protect you two and your mother if ever needed. Now in the weeks leading up to you joining us, the last in my life is cast aside to be reserved for Vacations alone with your Mother. Which to me is a sign that I am no longer young any more.

Your mother has a tatoo of a phoenix on her arm, when your brother was born, much like the phoenix, she had to burn out and then be born again from the ashes to fly to new heights. I am feeling much like that phoenix, burning out only to rise again to new heights and to burn ever so brightly.

I am ready for you now, ready to always protect you, and to fight for you as I do for your mother and brother. I will always be here for you and I will always try my best to make sure you have the things that you want and need.

I am patiently waiting to meet you, my daughter.

With all my love,

Daddy

WTF

I need to get my fking shit together.